Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
