I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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