The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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