I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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