True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
