The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
