is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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