dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize