Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish you could order shots online.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
