once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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