i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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