So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am one with the molecules
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
