Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
