Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
