Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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