Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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