I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
