awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
