And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
