No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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