And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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