you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
