college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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