Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
