he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
