o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
