yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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