First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
