it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need moral support for this bender
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
