Don't you send me to vm
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just want nice things and good sex
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I did not marry a roomba.
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