i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
