Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
