Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
