PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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