Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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