My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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