So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
