you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
