dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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