I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
