About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
