You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
