I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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