I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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