I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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