If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
