Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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