I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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