The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
COCAINE IS GR8
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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