I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
