i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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