Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
