I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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