I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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