he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
