I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
