i just made my gag reflex go away.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
