Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
