Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
