I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
