she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
