Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You took a bar mat shot.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
