The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
