bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
