At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
