My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
